I have been dealing with internal turmoil that I just realized what it was last night and then didn't know how to get through it, until this morning when I kept getting hurdles thrown at me every time I attempted to do anything. I ended up praying in the car asking God why am I having so much trouble and feel so anxious inside; I can't do this on my own. After realizing this and was able to see, hind-side, that he was putting hurdles in my path to make me slow down and ask Him for help. Well, when one hurdle didn't stop me, He threw another one in my path.
This is the dialogue that I heard between God and me.
God: Wow, that didn't stop you and you didn't even ask me for help. I'm right here, don't forget. Ok. here's another hurdle.
Me: I went about my business and continued on with my errands/ doctors appt. which one was unexpectedly put in my schedule...the hurdle.
God: (this is Him yelling at me) Amanda you aren't listening to me. FINE! here's another one in your path. Give up trying to do this on your own, I'm right here. I'll be patient!
Me: Ok, Ok, Ok! I surrender God. I finally here you. I DO need help.
I turned off K-Love that was playing in the background (they are having their fall pledge drive and all I heard was gimme-gimme-gimme.) And turned on the children's worship music and we had our own car prayer time right then and there. Which by the way, is fabulous even for adults. It is Hide 'em In Your Hearts by Steve Green. I can't tell you how much was lifted off my shoulders. I came home and opened up my email and read Purpose Driven Connection titled "Ask God to Help You Get Where You Need To Be." I don't always read these but today the title hit home and I wanted to share an important passage from this bible study.
Your prayers reveal a couple of things. First, they reveal how serious you are about your goals. If you don't pray about them, you really don't care about them that much. If you only pray about them once, they are not a desire, they are just a whim.
The other thing your prayers reveal is how much you are depending on God to reach your goals. If you never pray about your goals, never pray about your job, never pray about your finances, you are not depending on God in any of those areas. The more you depend on God, the more you'll pray.
So determine your present position, decide what you want, find a promise from God to hold onto, claim it, and then ask God for help.
2 comments:
Very insightful Amanda. Thanks for sharing your conversation with God. It is always so much easier (for me at least) to see God's active hand after you have gotten through a particular obstacle. However, if we can just remember that he goes through what we are going through and helps us through it, it becomes so much easier. I am glad you came to this epiphany.
Oh, it's that the truth with God! I wish we could just hear him on the first time so we can say.... God, I can hear you. Please help and guide me.
Love you much!
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